


Dave Strider, the Hentai Guy

by Kittycattycat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dave is fuckin gay, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Other, POV Third Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn Watching, Tentacles, Very briefly implied child abuse bc it’s dave, and they were ROOMMATES, or more like porn viewing bc it’s pictures but u know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycattycat/pseuds/Kittycattycat
Summary: Dave jacks off to tentacles on his couch. That’s all.This fic is either post-game or later in a No SBURB AU, ‘cause John n Dave are roomies who are dating and they’re adults.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dave Strider, Or more appropriately ‘Dave Strider/A Bunch of Imagined Tentacles‘
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Dave Strider, the Hentai Guy

Dave groaned and slouched against the back of the couch, gnawing hard on the end of his already-chewed-to-hell-and-back wooden pencil. He'd been staring at the nearly-blank white page for what felt like fucking hours, trying in vain to come up with the next few panels of whatever shitty comic it was he’d originally had the bright idea to start creating a sketch for.

It wasn't as if he didn't want to create something, or even that he just didn't have ideas to do it. He apparently just couldn't keep his stupid fucking mind focused on the task at hand for more than three seconds. His thoughts kept wandering about from place to place. Thinking about what John was up to, trying to remember if he'd still got some leftover Chinese food or something in the fridge, realizing that John almost definitely was looking at ALL the wrong stuff in the store because he NEVER understood what Dave was asking him to get…

Wondering whether or not he could get himself off in the, say, twenty minutes before his boyfriend got home without getting caught.

Had Dave the patience for such an action, he would have rolled his eyes and huffed as the thought crossed his mind. Christ, it was like he had the mentality of his thirteen-year-old self again. All thinking about weird edgy rap mix tapes and sex, sex, ”oh god when am I going to get my next meal,” masturbation, sex. Which really, isn't that every thirteen-year-old? Shit, it was kinda STILL him. A fully grown adult dudebro. Damn.

Regardless of that, he knew that if he didn't jerk himself off soon, he was never going to be able to focus on his work, and that simply wouldn't do. Naah man.

With all the enthusiasm of a hyperactive child sitting and watching paint dry on a fence in the heat of July, Dave stretched his arm out to grab his laptop from the coffee table just a bit away from him. He shifted around so that he was laying on the couch as if it were a bed, feet just barely keeping from hanging over the edge of the thing. Damn, should he buy a bigger couch? Eh, who cares.

The noise of clicking and clacking keys hit his ears, and before he had the time to fully processed what he was doing, he had pressed the enter key. He wanted to say that a flush of shame crept across his face at the words ‘tentacle porn’ typed boldly in black on his screen and contrasting the stark white of the search engine’s background, but he definitely didn't. No shame left in THIS weird fuckin’ body.

None of these thoughts deterred him, however, from scrolling down the results page to click on one of the links near the bottom of the page. A familiar site. He’d been to this webpage more times than he could count, both recently and as a teen. …God, he needed to shut the hell up about his teenage years; he sounded like a crotchety old man recounting the wondrous days of his youth when he was with his high school sweetheart and could keep an erection for more than ten seconds. Eugh, he ALSO needed to shut the hell up about wrinkly old flaccid man dick.

As the blog loaded up, Dave unbuttoned and unzipped his pants as best he could. The familiar feeling of arousal swirling in his abdomen began, blood beginning to slowly flow downwards as his body realized what was about to go down. The first image to pop up was fetish art of some old cartoon character he vaguely recognized. Though she wasn't scantily clad, several clear, ghostly tendrils were pulling at her clothes, exposing her breasts and ass. He reached into his trousers and pulled out his cock, absentmindedly giving it a tug. Not really his favorite, most stuff with women never was, but it was alright.

Actually that was a deadass lie. If he weren't prepared for a good jerk-off session full of hot men images he probably would have gone soft in seconds. He knew, though, that the content on this blog often got better the more you scrolled. He would know, considering how often he visited the damn blog. It's really a wonder how many times one person can masturbate to the same series of images over and over.

The next few pictures on the blog were of anime boys and a few girls (some of whom were, unsettlingly, MUCH younger than he would EVER go for…), and while he still wasn't a huge fan, he definitely felt his semi-hard erection give a twitch at a detailed shot of one of the older men having a slimy, purple tentacle forced into his mouth. Dave could feel his breathing pick up as he continued to stare. Drool and lubricant were splattered all over the guy’s face and chest, his eyes wide as the appendage continued to force itself violently down his throat. A shudder rippled through Dave as he imagined himself in the same position, wet slime smearing across his face and being stuffed down his throat without the slightest hint of mercy.

Suddenly freezing, he cast an eye towards the door to the living room, biting his lip. No, no, John wasn't home, not yet. He was fine. He just…felt compelled to check. He couldn't have anyone bursting in on him, after all– not NOW.

Relieved of his sudden paranoia, Dave continued to scroll, only really pausing when something particularly irresistible caught his eye. Eventually, he stopped looking at the screen entirely, sliding his laptop away and onto the table once more in favor of closing his eyes and fantasizing.

Though he imagined his fist didn't feel too much like a thick, wet tentacle, it was easy enough for his imagination to go wild in thought. He could practically see them all, long and purple and vaguely opaque, absolutely soaked with lubricant. They snake up his legs, and he shivers at the sudden cold. A few snatch roughly at his clothes, ripping through the thin fabrics with ease. Others gently trace two mirrored paths down his sides, ghosting over his ribs and drawing patterns across his stomach with their slippery substance. Dave would GROAN, soft and needy, craving more of their touches against his bare skin.

Four more tentacles, seemingly noticing his distressed want, would creep up his legs. Three loop around his thighs to prod at his entrance, and he bucks at the sudden, unexpected coolness. The final tentacle, a smaller, slightly thinner appendage, wraps tightly around his cock, wriggling and pumping in a way nothing humanoid could. 

He would emit a sharp gasp as a tentacle slips into him without warning, squirming and pushing in a way that feels so damn good. Lust pools warmly between his legs, and his cock feels heavier by the second. The thick limb is forcing its way in roughly. The burning stretch is just on THIS side of painful, and Dave lets out what quite possibly could be the most wanton moan he'd ever heard from anyone, much less himself.

Of course, there is also an instantaneous groan of complete disappointment and loss when the tentacle pulls out, leaving him feeling somewhat cold and entirely too empty. The void is soon filled, however, as an even larger mass begins pushing in. The three tentacles had intertwined with one another, slickness against slickness. The very thought of them all inside him at once had him feeling dizzy in a way he'd never felt before (even more lies— he hadn't felt that way since his last session.)

Shivering with anticipation, Dave stuck three fingers into his mouth, suckling them laboriously. Good fucking CHRIST this was disgusting. What was he even doing, really? He should stop, but he knows good and goddamn well he won't. With enough imagination, he could imagine his own digits as one singular entity. Yet another tentacle, weighing heavy on his tongue, already dripping with its own fluids 

Eventually feeling satisfied and wanting to get on with it, Dave forced his own hand away from his mouth. His pants and boxers practically dropped in an instant, getting kicked aside in favor of easy access to all his bits and parts. Without a moment’s hesitation, he stuck two slick fingers inside of himself, not slowing down even as a spike of pain shot from the sudden invasion made without proper preparation. 

His head lolled to the side, drool beginning to pool at the corner of his mouth, as he jammed a third finger in with the others. He tenses suddenly before finally sighing with relief. It felt so GOOD.

The pain of their entrance would be sharper that time around, more intense. To distract him, the tentacle wrapped around his length would grip the base and stroke upwards at a teasingly slow rate that would have his breathing shaky and his limbs trembling with pleasure. Keeping him from bucking up into the touch, more tentacles would hold his hips down and make any movement at all nigh impossible. 

The mass of tentacles, now fully inside him, begins to slowly pull out and push back in. They wriggle and writhe in tandem, while also barely tickling the bundle of nerves that sent immediate shocks of pleasure up his spine. As the burning coil in his abdomen winds tighter and tighter, the tentacle formerly barely wrapped around his cock tightened as well, its pace becoming intensely furious. It was almost too much.

Somewhere in the back of Dave’s mind, he heard the familiar sound of a door creak open.

“They didn’t have the hot chips you wanted at the store, so I bought you a bag of Doritos and a Code Red Mountain Dew ‘cause I know you like that garbage. I also got a can of Sprite but I— Dave what the fuck!? On the fucking couch!?”

That was it. Dave threw his head back and let out a strangled moan as pleasure wracked his entire body. This was the best orgasm he'd had in a long time. Though he knew it was impossible, he honest-to-god felt like his hand was a blur over his cock, and the fingers working in his ass couldn't be going much slower. 

It wasn't until he was coming back from the sensation, feeling the milky white cum slowly drying on his thighs and torso, that he remembered there was someone else in the vicinity.

He wanted to say that his head bolted up, eyes darting wildly in search for John. But it didn't. Instead, he lazily turned his head and focused his vision. It didn't take too much of a search to find John, still standing in the doorway with an armload of groceries. His utterly startled gaze flickered from Dave to Dave’s computer screen, which was just barely visible to John from his angle, and then back to Dave again.

Still hazy, Dave gestured to the shopping bags in his boyfriend’s arms, “Do you, like…need help? Carrying those?”

“Dave!”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna be real: this is a nasty old OC work from early 2017 that I changed shit like names and internal thoughts around on so I could post it here. Forgive any continuity or name errors, bc I refuse to read this shit all the way through to actually check. I just want it out of my google docs


End file.
